Choose to Chill – Make the CHOICE to Never Stress
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“Just chill!” It is something I say to my children, particularly my high-strung third child, many times a day.
They begin to get worked up about something that is easily fixed. The heart rates rise and the voices get shrill.
They are beginning to freak out – and usually it’s over nothing.
These “problems” are either things so small that they are fixed in minutes, often seconds, or they are anticipated events and fears that never even come to pass.
I constantly tell them to just chill because I am trying to show them that life doesn’t have to be as stressful as many make it out to be.
By nature I am a very laid-back person, probably to a fault if you were to ask some.
I feel like I’m mostly surrendered to God’s will for my life, I trust that He will take care of me and my family, and I really don’t stress the specifics of how and when certain things may or may not happen.
Now, I realize that we are all born with different personalities, some more like my third child, and I understand that some people are by nature more likely to worry than others.
However, I also believe that you can choose not to stress, or choose to chill, in just about any situation.
First, I think it is important to clarify the difference between concern and stress, or at least what I consider to be the difference for the point of this article, without getting into specific Webster’s definitions.
To me, being concerned, or even a little worried, is a natural response to a hard situation, an emotion that really can’t be avoided.
Stress is where the worry takes over, the panic sets in, and I think this specifically applies to cases of dwelling on what might happen.
Concern is a response to something that has already happened, or at the beginning of a REAL situation. Stress, however, is often imagined. It is concern or worry over things that may not have even happened yet, and probably won’t happen at all.
Your child gets sick. They could have to be hospitalized… they could have brain damage… they could die. You might have to quit your job to care for them. How will you pay your bills? Your mind can begin to spiral…
Now STOP, and come back to reality. Stress takes you on an unreasonable journey in your mind. Your child is sick. That is all that has actually happened. Use your concern to drive you to make smart choices, provide care, remain calm, and do NOT go down stress street.
If my child were to end up in the hospital, I would of course be concerned. I would hate to see that that they were hurting or sick, but I would choose not to stress about all of the potential life-threatening outcomes that could come from it (but probably never will).
We have all seen it with Googling our symptoms – all roads lead to impending death! If we want to drum up all the worst-case scenarios in life, there is no end to the stress that awaits.
When you feel stressed, take a step back…
- Start with identifying the optimistic perspective. Come up with the best possible outcome (which is usually that everything will be completely fine).
- Choose to believe things will work out. Decide that your best possible outcome will be THE outcome.
- Focus on all the good in life outside of your trial. It doesn’t have to consume you.
- Prepare for trials that you KNOW are coming. If you have a test coming, then study. But once you have done what you can do, surrender the outcome without allowing stress to enter in.
- Deal with things as they happen and IF they even happen, rather than anticipating all of the imagined negative outcomes.
There are always going to be obstacles in life, problems to overcome. There are even truly horrible things that happen and tragedy sometimes strikes. However, I have yet to hear of a time where someone stressing about the outcome of something ended up helping the final result.
Stressing only distracts our hearts and minds from other blessings and the good in our lives. It is the negative force that instead causes us to focus on our problems and wallow in self-misery.
I love the old adage, “Don’t borrow trouble.” Such a simple concept, yet so much wisdom in deciding to let go of all of the what-ifs and things to stress over.
I will not act as though I have it all together or that I never stress or worry about anything, but I am learning the power in choosing optimism. Of course I am not saying it is not important to be wise in making choices that won’t lead to trouble in the first place, but don’t stress over problems that arise (especially when they are completely out of your control), and don’t blow small problems out of proportion.
Trust in God to be by your side through the trials of life. And when the trials come, just chill, and let Him work it out for you.
~ Jennifer ~
